Who is your best friend?
Well, if you are a well brought up Christian, your proper response is Jesus. And while that is true. On earth, in the flesh, your best friend is probably your spouse.
That is as it should be.
You marry the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
You are close friends in the beginning but after years of marriage you learn to finish each other’s sandwiches sentences. (LOL! I couldn’t help myself.) You grow closer and closer and your wife or your husband truly becomes your best friend.
What about when mental illness is part of the picture? What happens to your marriage and your friendship when you have debilitating anxiety or have been depressed for years or are riding the roller coaster of bipolar disorder?
If you are honest, mental illness gets in the way of all aspects of your life. One of the most painful parts can be how this steals your spouse’s best friend away.
I have the privilege of speaking to many people each week dealing with these same problems and looking for hope that they can become whole again. One conversation comes up over and over and it stands out boldly in my mind. A husband whose wife is enduring a long battle with mental illness will say, “I just want my best friend back.”
That is the honest heart of a husband speaking. He misses his wife. He misses his best friend. He longs for laughter to come easily. He wants to go out with his wife and enjoy life, and he longs for the simple things like laying next to you on the pillow and talking into the night about concerns and dreams and plans.
Your husband misses you. Your husband loves you even if he is tired of talking about the anxiety or depression. More than anything, he wants you to feel better but he does not know how to help you and really he just wants to be your hero and take all the pain away.
This is not the part of the conversation where you should feel worse. This is the part of the conversation where you recognize that this prison has both of you trapped inside. You have the ability and power to change this situation. You can pursue freedom. You are able to heal completely from mental illness when you know exactly what you need to do to bring healing.
A long time ago, when I was in the depths of my own struggle with mental illness, I recognized how the roller coaster of Bipolar Disorder was torturing my husband. He never knew if it was going to be a good day or a bad day anymore than I did.
I also could see how I was not able to be the mom I wanted to be with the anxiety and depression always chasing me. At first, these realizations broke my heart, and then it made me angry. I decided that I had enough.
Depression, anxiety, and bipolar were NOT going to keep me from my dreams. They were not going to keep me locked in a prison that also held my husband and my boys in it. I stepped up and I made the changes necessary to heal completely.
I am now FREE from any symptoms associated with the mental illnesses I once had.
Does stress still come my way?
You bet. But I know how to deal with it.
Do sad things still happen?
Of course.
And you know what? I know how to handle those things too.
Sad things no longer scare me because I know I am well and I know I have all the tools needed to grieve properly and breeze through any hard stuff that may come my way.
I wake up every morning certain that today will be a great day.
I enjoy laughter in my home. I enjoy the time I spend with my kids. My husband is truly my best friend and we love being around each other.
This type of journey to complete healing doesn’t happen by accident.
It required commitment and time and effort. It required learning what was sabotaging my health; I stopped doing those things. I learned exactly what facilitates healing; I committed to doing those things.
Now I have the privilege of speaking into your life and helping you get out of the prison that has your family bound.
Yes! You can learn how to heal completely.
You can give the gift of a healthy spouse to YOUR best friend.
If you are at that place where you recognize that your emotional health struggles are sucking the life out of your marriage and you want to find freedom, I am here to give you hope but more than that I want to put the practical tools in your hand. If you head over to the coaching page (click on the \”coaching\” tab at the top,) you can read up on how our team can help you.
I do strongly encourage that you watch the masterclass with your spouse. You are on the same team, so start now, by watching the masterclass together. It is possible for you to be free. I look forward to speaking with you soon and working with you hand in hand for transforming your emotional health and restoring your marriage.